Hope
by eva-david
Summary: Begins in the time period between season 10 and season 11. Ziva leaves NCIS and makes two mysterious trips to Israel. When she is finally back there are a lot of questions to be answered. Why did she leave? Who did she meet? Why is she injured? Tiva from head to toe, but there's also a lot of other exciting stuff sandwiched in between ;)
1. 1 Introduction

**Hope**

_Tired of all the hurt and loss around her, Ziva David leaves DC to find her destiny somewhere else. Tony's only hope of reclaiming his place in her life is leaving his friends and job behind and going after his "best friend". It all seems pointless until one fateful night when she's in an accident._

* * *

"We should stop meeting like this."

He was the first to break the silence surrounding them.

"We didn't _meet_ like this last time. We were already together when we came in." She deadpanned, confirming his suspicion that she'd known he was there all along.  
Laying on a hospital bed, eyes closed, her body perfectly still she looked like she was asleep. He knew her better than that though.

"Well, then we should stop getting into car accidents." He said - using the same nonchalant tone she had.

Her eyes snapped open and she began scanning his body from head to toe, looking for injuries.

"You were in an accident?"

"No, Ziva! I wasn't!" He snapped, suddenly very angry.

Suddenly, the curtain made a noise and a nurse poked her head in. "Hey, honey," she waved at Ziva. Turning to Tony she added, "I just need to check something with her real quick, I'll be gone by the time you're back." Smiling at him, she opened the curtain wider, at a sign to the cafeteria. "I've seen your girlfriend look at the food they served earlier. She needs to eat something though. You don't mind going down and getting her a salad, do you?"

_Calm down, DiNozzo. _A loud sigh could be heard in the small space they were now all occupying."I – I'll just..." He gestured towards the exit.

"If you've had enough of this just leave, Tony. Just leave." Ziva's voice was incredibly quiet. Eyes closed, her face equaled that of a person having a nightmare. He could see she was fighting tears.

He stepped closer to the head of the bed for a moment and whispered in her ear, "At lo levad," his hand brushed over her temple, "never, Ziva." With a nod of his head in the direction of the nurse he walked away.


	2. 2 Still Got Tonight

Five minutes later a cold wave of air hit him as he exited the hospital through the sliding doors. It was dark outside. No wonder, it was 1 am. He didn't want to go to the cafeteria. The fluorescent light was hurting his eyes and he was so tired. He just wanted to find some bench, lay down on it and go to sleep. Not a good idea in mid September. So he walked down the road to his car. He wasn't leaving, he just needed to drive for a while. Clear his head. And it was helping. The city was quiet, no passengers on the sidewalks hurrying to appointments, meetings, to get some food. No stressed drivers honking at you, no people randomly running across the street.

His plan was working really well until he had to stop at a red light, no cars in sight, just a woman crossing the road. He had to blink to make sure he was seeing straight. He could have sworn Ziva had just walked across the street in front of him. Suddenly, he felt panic creeping up on him. What if the nurse had come to get her ready to be discharged? He didn't want to lose her again. He had almost lost her today.

He quickly decided on getting something at a 24-hour-café a bit further down the road, got out of the car, into the store and back to his car in just over 5 minutes and was on his way back to the hospital again.

Once there he parked his car and practically ran to the entrance. The other people in the hall did not even care as he speed walked by. He waited impatiently at the elevator doors when he saw a woman with brown, curly hair in his peripheral vision. Again, his heat sped up as he turned around to check. But she was not Ziva. In fact, this woman had very different features from Ziva. The elevator dinged and he entered it after letting six other people, one on crutches, out and then punched the button angrily.

When the doors finally closed, he relaxed a bit. Now he just had to get off on the right floor. He leaned back against the wall, paper bag and cup holder in hand and sighed.

The elevator stopped once more but no one got on, the next time the doors opened, he was met with the sight of Ziva in a wheelchair and the nurse from before smiling at him.

His heart rate was seriously going to be a problem soon if this continued to happen! "No, no, no, you're not leaving this soon!" He said, loudly.

As he stepped forward the nurse was already right in front of him. "No, Mr. she's not leaving, but we _were_ going to the cafeteria since you took so long and she was hungry." She put a hand on his forearm in an attempt to calm him down.

"But the chart said she had a concussion! She can't leave the bed!" He was still agitated.

"Yes, but as a qualified medical professional I think you can trust me to take care of her, she needs some food," She told him and added "so are you going to calm down and feed her something or do I need to call security?" in a low voice.

"I think we'll be fine, Clare. Thank you!" Ziva said from her chair. "Tony can wheel me back to my room.

Clare turned to face Ziva, "are you sure honey?" At her nod she turned towards Tony again, "alright, but you keep her calm, alright. She doesn't need any more excitement today!"

Ziva wheeled herself back to her room and got back into bed on her own. Once the door was closed and they both had their food and drinks Tony sat down in the chair next to her bed.

"So you have a room now?" He asked, trying to sound as casual as he could.

Ziva took a bite of her blueberry muffin and chewed for a while before she looked at him again.

"Yes. They're planning on keeping me here for a couple of days." She said and it seemed to Tony like she was far away with her thoughts.

"They're not only planning on it, they will." He said, searching for her hand atop the covers. "You need some peace and quiet."

He saw her nod absently, her gaze on their hands. She seemed willing to open up tonight, or maybe she just wanted him to shut up so she complied. Tony intended to take full advantage of that.

"So what's the verdict?" He asked and pulled his hand away again.

She sighed and let her gaze wander around the room. "A concussion. "

He frowned. "A concussion did not cause that big bruise on your arm, Ziva."

"No. That was the street." She told him.

He didn't like that she was keeping him in the dark. "Ziva."

"Tony."

He got up and walked over to the foot of the bed, intending to check her chart but he couldn't find one.

"Look, it's almost 3 am, I don't think this is the best time to be discussing this."

"What exactly is this?" She asked.

He sighed and moved back to the side of her bed. Removing his jacket he sat down on the plastic chair next to her. "I don't know, Ziva. I don't know." He said sadly, without making eye contact.

He looked at his hands. "I just know that I don't want to wake up tomorrow and find you gone again."

_Flashback_

_She couldn't help thinking that this was like one of Tony's movies. A shiver went down her spine and she pulled her jacked tighter around herself. One last glance at Tony's bedroom window and she vanished from the dark alley._

_Later that morning, Tony would wake up and find his partner, his best friend – his soul mate, gone from his bed._

And she had been gone from his life for the rest of that month until he found her again training at a gym in Annapolis.

"Can you not run this time?" Tony was close to tears just remembering the last time she'd left.

"I am tired of running, Tony." She was looking him straight in the eyes. "I want to go home." Her eyes were filling and she drew in a breath to try and calm herself. "But I also need to clean up this mess we are in."

"Let me in, let me help!" Tony was not above begging if it meant he wouldn't lose her again. "You just said it yourself, it's our mess! Let's clean it up together!"

"It's not that easy."

He sighed "It never is, Zi. But I know we can do it."

Tony got up and went to sit next to her on the bed. She moved around to make room for him but he wouldn't have any of it. He enveloped her in his arms and drew her to his chest. "We can do it." He murmured into her hair.

* * *

A/N:  
_Hello dear reader! :)_  
_If you've read one of my other stories before you might have noticed that my writing is different in this story. This is an experiment for me and I am very pleased to see that you seem to like it! _  
_The flashback some of you were asking about will come in chapter three, this is not the end of it! _;)

_Thank you for reading and thank you to everyone who has reviewed and followed this story so far! _

_Do keep the reviews coming, they make me very happy!_


	3. 3 Whereever You Will Go

_2 weeks earlier…_

* * *

Ziva left the gym after an exhausting sparring session with one of the guys who trained there regularly. She'd needed this after her long flight from Israel back to the US.

As she came closer to her rental car she could make out someone leaning against it. She ducked behind a big van, her gun already in hand and slowly snuck up to her car, always staying in the shadows until she was so close enough to see his face. The tension left her body immediately. She tiptoed closer to him and pressed her gun, with the safety back on, to his back.

"What are you doing here?"

It took him a split second to recognize her voice. "I found you."

Ziva opened the cars side door and tossed her bag and the gun inside.

"I was not hiding." She said defiantly, not meeting his gaze.

"You were running."

Ziva sighed. "Ok, look… Tony…" Her head dropped and she sighed. "Can we not do this here? I've got a hotel room in the city, we can talk there." She said hopefully.

"I took a cab from the airport, I don't have a car." He said apprehensively.

She just stepped back and opened the passenger side door. Grabbing his duffel bag and throwing it inside to join her things she said, "be my guest. I'm driving."

He groaned playfully, "oh, no!" And chuckled quietly to himself, remembering the many times they'd played this exact game before.

She smirked at him and rounded the car to get into the driver's seat.

* * *

The hotel she was staying at was nice enough, Tony thought. Nothing too fancy but not the cheapest place in town either. Riding up to the third floor reminded him of their time spent undercover early in their partnership. She really had been different then. McGee could never see the changes quite like he could. It was the subtle things, she would sleep in on the weekends after movie nights, occasionally help him with his paperwork when he asked and she'd be more pleasant overall. Of course she still drove exactly like she had seven years ago on the way back to headquarters but he thought she was being more cautious now. There weren't quite as many accidents with her behind the wheel anymore. They arrived on their floor just as his thoughts were drifting to their stay in Berlin and the car crash after.

As he followed her down the hall he wondered if he'd be staying here tonight, in her room.

Ziva unlocked the door with her key card and kicked off her shoes the moment she stepped inside. She hadn't taken the time to get comfortable there earlier, just dumped her stuff on the floor and gone to the gym but she didn't plan on staying for very long anyways.

"I'm going to take a shower, you can watch TV." After a moment of consideration she added "I heard someone saying they had the premium channels," and winked at him. It felt so normal having him around.

An hour later they were both sitting on the sofa, some reality TV show running n the background, neither of their thoughts on the TV.

Ziva's stomach started to rumble loudly. "How about we order room service? I haven't had time to eat all day." She suggested and stood up to retrieve the menu that was sitting on the small desk beside the door.

When she came back Tony moved over to sit closer to her in order to be able to read the menu with her.

"Oh, I don't know, I kind of feel like eating a burger. We drove past that restaurant a couple of blocks away, remember?" He looked at her, suddenly noticing how close their faces were. He cleared his throat. "We could take your car… You know, if you don't mind."

"Yes, sure." She smiled, amused by his sudden shyness.

* * *

At the restaurant Tony held open the door for Ziva. They were led to their seats by an older waiter who brought them their menus and then disappeared for a good five minutes.

As he looked around Tony couldn't help but think that to anyone else in the room, the two of them had to look just like the ordinary couple coming in to eat dinner together. It was only when their waiter returned that he realized he was staring at Ziva. _Like a boyfriend_.

* * *

Later that night when they came back to her room he asked "So, you don't plan on staying here long?"

She only stared at him for a couple of seconds. "You're not unpacking." he elaborated

"I'm going back to Israel." _Might as well get it over with._

He was pretty sure his eyes doubled in size when she said that. "You're what?" He said. "But you can't! You're an American citizen now!"

Ziva sat down heavily on a chair. "I'm not moving back there. I have some things I need to deal with there. Unfinished business."

"So you're coming back!" He let out a breath.

She nodded. "It may be a while but yes, I am."

He grew suspicious again. "How long is a while?"

"A couple of weeks. Please don't worry, Tony. I will be back." She tried to reassure him.

"What about us. This—" He thought for a moment. "What do we do in the meantime?"

"You…" She hesitated, "you go back to NCIS. I'm sure Gibbs will be back soon."

"Damnit, Ziva! You know what I mean." He said in a low voice. "Do I really have to spell this out for you?"

She looked away, feeling cornered. This was not what she'd expected from him tonight.

"Why do you keep coming back, Tony?" She questioned.

He thought for a long time before answering. "I'm hoping- if I keep finding you- one day you'll let me in."

"That is stupid." She murmured quietly to herself.

"Are you calling me stupid?" He half-joked.  
"Why Ziva?" His eyes met hers. "Why is it that you keep up these walls around your heart to keep me out?" He asked.

"I do not want you to get hurt my something that I caused." She blurted out. "And the easiest way to do that is to keep you away from it all."

"Don't you get it Ziva? I don't care about me!" Tony shouted.

At that, silent tears started streaming down Ziva's face. She took a breath and slumped back in her chair. Very quietly she said "But I do."

Tony went to sit next to her and pulled her into his side for a hug. She leaned into him and he put his arm around her, pressing his cheek to the top of her head.

"I promise you, Tony, I promise you I will come back—" She almost let the 'to you' slip out but she caught it before it left her mouth. "But you need to let me go now."

His head was still over hers so he couldn't look her in the eyes. "When do you leave?" He asked, and his voice almost broke.

It took all Ziva had but she pulled away from him to make eye contact. "I've got a ticket to Tel-Aviv for Friday."

_That's still two days left with her!_ His mind supplied helpfully.

* * *

_tbc ;) Next part of this flashback-chapter sometime between now and Friday!  
Thank you for all of your amazing reviews!_


	4. 4 A Billion Stars

**A Billion Stars**

Tony took her back to his place the next morning. After taking care of her rental and checking out of the hotel room he found them a commuter bus to get back to DC. The ride on the bus was not at all pleasant. They were crammed up in their small seats with their luggage for an hour and a half, while the other people were talking on their phones and a couple of tourists were conversing very loudly in the front of the bus. Ziva had seen and experienced much worse ways of getting from point A to point B, Tony however wasn't as patient or calm. About halfway through their journey, she placed a soothing hand on his knee and leaned into his shoulder for a small nap. This seemed to get him out of his slightly agitated state and they spent the rest of the ride in their own little bubble.

The rest of the day they were hauled up in his apartment. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes off her for more than a few minutes and she enjoyed his company very much. They didn't talk much but over the 24 hours they had spent together the words "personal space" had lost all meaning.

Ziva suggested making pasta for dinner and they worked together in the kitchen, never needing to ask the other to move out of the way. It felt so domestic. It felt so good.

When they went to bed, neither of them questioned the decision to sleep in his new bed together. Tony went to change and brush his teeth first while Ziva lay across the bed and stared at the ceiling. She felt so bad about leaving him. Her flight was at 7:30 am the next morning so she would have to leave at 6. She decided she wouldn't wake him, it would be easier on both of them, she thought.

When he returned to the bedroom she didn't move. He came to stand over her and smiled down at her, thinking how lucky he was. She'd always been beautiful to him, but now he was finally allowed to not only ogle her but also touch. They were innocent touches, they both enjoyed the slow pace their new relationship had taken on. They had no desire to rush this. They were too special to each other to mess this up. She would be back. He would find her if she wouldn't. They both knew this.

He lowered himself next to her and rolled to mimic her position, legs hanging of the side of the bed, hands lying on his stomach. Staring up on the ceiling like it was the night sky with a billion stars.

One of Ziva's hands suddenly appeared on his cheek, she was propped up on her elbow now and her face was coming closer and closer to his. Then their lips finally touched. It felt like they were somewhere outside, laying under the stars now. There was a peace around them that they'd never felt. Tony slid a hand through Ziva's hair before they separated and they smiled their biggest smiles at each other.

Eventually Ziva got up to change into a shirt Tony had given her, the most domestic feeling washing over her and almost overwhelming her at the thought of wearing his shirt.

They started to drift off wrapped around each other, the peaceful feeling never leaving their room as their breaths evened out.

Ziva woke up at 5am the next morning. She'd slept better than she had in ages even though she'd known morning would come and she'd have to leave. She could hear the raindrops pitter patter against the windows and couldn't help a calm feeling washing over her. She moved a little bit closer to Tony and pressed her lips to his temple. He stirred but didn't wake. Knowing that there was no way of getting around it, she finally got up several minutes later. It was chilly in the room, at least a lot cooler than in the bed, snuggled up next to her companion.

After struggling to not look back at his sleeping form and crawl under the covers again she made her way into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

An hour later she left the building through the back entrance to evade security cameras. _She couldn't help thinking that this was like one of Tony's movies. A shiver went down her spine and she pulled her jacked tighter around herself. One final glance at Tony's bedroom window and she vanished from the dark alley._

Her feelings overwhelmed her when the plane started its ascend over the city. The feeling of Tony's warm hand wrapped around hers, Tony hugging her, her lips on his in the most pure, innocent kiss. She missed him so much already and she was barely 10 miles away from him. She was not alone, she hadn't bothered arranging a private jet for herself. Hastily, she stood and walked to the nearest bathroom only to be overwhelmed with memories of their flight back from Paris. They were such a good team.

Now that she was alone she could drop the optimistic attitude she'd been displaying for Tony's sake. The chances of her coming back to his waiting arms were nowhere near 99 percent. And now that she'd left his place in such a manner without even waking him she wasn't sure he'd welcome her back the way she'd imagined. He would be pissed when he woke up. And worried. She'd done her best to reassure him that this was only a business related trip and that she had things to sort out that had been left behind when her father died. It wasn't all a lie. She was going back to clean up after her father. However she had no idea what she was getting herself into. She knew it would be dangerous. Pulling out her wallet from her handbag she retrieved a picture she'd stashed away behind her credit card. She continued crying silent tears as she hugged the photograph tightly to her chest.

* * *

Woha! What did I do there? Cliffhangerrrr!

This is shorter than I intended but I promised a chapter by Friday and I have zero time to write this week... sorry.  
Please leave a review if you liked this chapter!


	5. 5 When I'm Gone

The hot, dry air that welcomed her back to her former home country hit her unexpectedly. Ziva was still very distraught over her parting with Tony and in addition to that she was going to have to deal with this country. And the memories. The people.

It was going to be a hard couple of weeks. Her first order of business was to catch a cab to the home of Orli Elbaz. She was certain she could protect herself in this country just like in any other place, but the stakes were much higher now. And there were still people around who didn't like her very much.

It was nice to hear people speak Hebrew all around her. She had long grown accustomed to English and it was the language she chose to think in most of the time but her native tongue felt soothing on her brain amidst all the confusion.

As the cab drove off in the distance it suddenly occurred to Ziva that she couldn't just walk into the home of the director of Mossad anymore. _Tipesh, Ziva!_ Stupid!

Adjusting to this situation was not easy. She walked across the street to sit in the shadows and as she dumped her stuff and slid down the wall to sit next to it on the ground she wondered what Tony was doing.

* * *

Tony woke rather slowly that morning. He stretched out beneath the covers and reveled in the wonderful feeling of being able to take his time waking up. His thoughts were still foggy from sleep when he suddenly remembered that Ziva should be there with him. Panic washed over him and settled deep in his gut. He threw away the covers, glad that he'd chosen to take his phone to the bedroom with him. No new texts or calls. He hastily checked for light under the bathroom door but couldn't find any.

"Ziva?" He called out. No answer.

Pulling on his bathrobe he hastily walked to the living room, then the kitchen, she was nowhere in sight. _Maybe she'd gone out to get them some breakfast._ But his gut told him otherwise. He checked the other rooms in the apartment and then called her cell phone only to find it on the kitchen table where she'd left it the night before.

He went back to his bedroom to get dressed and finally found the small piece of paper sitting on _her_ bedside table. It read:

"_I am sorry. –Z" _

She was gone.

* * *

Only half an hour later Ziva spotted a limousine driving up the narrow road to the house. She stayed in the shadows and observed as Orli got out the car, thanked her driver and was escorted to the front door by one of her security guys. Ziva would have called her but she'd left her phone in DC with Tony. Instead she got up and crossed the street once more. There was no one at the gate but she was certain there had to be some sort of security system, maybe even a sniper somewhere on the roof, watching her through the camera at the corner of the street. She was no longer a part of Mossad but she knew their tricks.

Not wanting to cause a big fuss she simply picked up a stone and threw it over the fence. Sure enough, it took only seconds for a guard to round the house and run up to her, machine gun drawn.

"Who are you?" He demanded in Hebrew. The question was redundant. Ziva knew someone was aware she was there or else she'd already be dead.

"You know who I am." She answered in English, pointedly looking at the small black device on the guard's chest and hoping someone on the other end of the camera feed would indeed recognize her. Soon, a buzzing sound came from the gate's side door. Turning on her heel, Ziva went to enter the property.

* * *

Half a world away, Tony's thoughts would not stop racing. _She said Friday, how did I not see this coming?_  
He was so angry at himself, at her, at the whole damn universe! He paced up and down in the kitchen, glaring at her cell phone, willing it to tell her where she was. Then suddenly he remembered his laptop on the coffee table, maybe she'd sent him an e-mail!  
Sitting on his sofa he impatiently waited for it to boot and connect with the WiFi. Mails from Abby, McGee, work flew by on the screen. Some social life he had.

No e-mail from Ziva.

There was a pang in his chest and hope left his body. He dragged a hand down his face and went back to staring at the screen. "Where are you, Ziva?" He asked out loud.

* * *

Ziva woke from her restless sleep four days later just as the sun was beginning to set. Her body ached after having traveled the desert on a horse. She used to be so good with horses but that was many years ago. _Only one more night. _She told herself.

She got up and looked out the window. The little village she was currently staying in was mostly empty. Bombs had destroyed too many of the huts and houses and too many people had died there. The ones who hadn't left were either too old or too stubborn to move somewhere else. For Ziva, that meant good food and a decent bed to sleep on with a grumpy but very polite widower next door. He'd taken care of her horse for her that morning and fed her well. Not for the money she had to offer but for a story. There was not much entertainment around except the occasional food delivery and Ziva was glad to have a nice place to stay for the night.  
Her story was made up, of course, but the old man didn't seem to mind or care.  
_"It's not every day that we get to see a beautiful young lady traveling through here."_ He'd said.

Ziva stood, made the bed and left some money on the pillow and quietly packed up her things. She left the single room house to sit on one of the stones in the front. Fishing her 'breakfast', a granola bar from her bag, she thought of DC sunsets and inevitably of Tony. She hated herself for leaving. Even more for doing so without saying goodbye, but she knew she would have never left if she'd seen his tears only once more. All she could hope for now was that he wouldn't come looking for her. Turning her head to the mountains in the distance she thought if there was one person in the world who could find her, no matter where she went, it was Tony.

And she let a single tear escape thinking of how this time it may actually be too late when he did.

* * *

_So… I got one review for chapter 4. In the last eight days only a single person cared enough for this story to leave a review. I'm not sure if I will continue this story beyond this chapter. I haven't written chapter 6 yet, and I might not._  
_When the reviews stay away so does my motivation._  
_I don't want to abandon this story or punish you for not reviewing but unfortunately that's just how it is. If you liked or hated his then I would love to hear about that! Just please tell me? :)_


	6. 6 Skyscraper

_First of all: Thank you for the most amazing reviews on the planet! You guys ROCK!  
I am so sorry for leaving you hanging for so long. I have a lot going on in my life, I just turned 18, I get to drive around now, school is very stressful and on top of that I'm moving house. I'm on a two-week break now though so I should have a lot of time to write. Yay! This chapter starts off pretty dark… But it gets a lot lighter in the end! Some reviewers were concerned that this was not very fluffy-rainbowpony-Tiva, and you're right. However I hope towards the end of this story it's getting a lot more fluffy and light._

Recap of the last three chapters:  
Tony and Ziva finally get their act together, Ziva admits that she "cares about him" but she has to leave on a strange mission in Israel. She's on a plane back to her former home country looking at a mysterious photo and thinking of Tony. He finds her gone when he wakes up and here is what he does to get her back. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Four days later found Tony at gunpoint inside Mossad headquarters and Ziva exhausted and tired on a hospital bed nearby, waiting on her friend to stitch up her leg.

Tony, after resolving the situation he caused by 'forgetting' his backup weapon on his ankle when he entered the building, finally got to speak to Orli Elbaz. A woman he still did not trust, but couldn't help but respect for the openness with which she shared everything she knew about Ziva's current whereabouts. He gladly accepted her offer to let one of her drivers bring him to the hospital and left the building unharmed. _Who would have thought this would one day be possible for him._

* * *

When he arrives at the hospital, she's gone and there is no record of her ever entering the building.

* * *

The next five days went by in a blur. He didn't go into detail with Orli as to his findings. Or not-findings. She didn't ask. _Probably because she didn't need to._ He mused.

On the flight back he called McGee, but to no avail. Gibbs was still gone, which left Abby.  
Returning to his empty apartment was out of the question, so when he called Abby to ask if he can crash on her couch he was met with an exited squeal and the promise of movie marathons until they drop dead. And with Abby involved he wasn't entirely sure it was meant purely in the figurative way most people would think of.

All they really got done in the three days he stayed at her place had been a Bond marathon but it had felt good knowing he was not alone most of the time.  
He was surprised at the lack of pain he felt when he thought about the fact that this someone was not Ziva. He thought about her often, mostly of the way she smiled at him when she was half asleep and he was not sure she was aware that he was real.

On the second day it hit him. He might never see her again. That cute little smile might already be a cold and stoic line, never to twitch in that cute way and light up his world again. He was standing in the kitchen, only wearing a pair of old grey workout pants and suddenly he felt like his world had frozen and lost all color and sound. Like in a trance he walked to Abby's guestroom to get a sweatshirt. When he pulled it out of his duffle bag it fell on the floor – and suddenly his mind shocked him with the image of Ziva's body lying on the ground, contorted at an impossible angle, her face a blank canvass. A shudder ran through him and he shook his head violently as to get rid of the mental image. He crouched down next to the shirt and slowly slid to the floor with his back against the wooden dresser.

That's how Abby found him, still staring at a point on the wall opposite him, when she came home that night. She was extremely glad she didn't have to go to work the next day or she might be tempted to drag Tony with her.

* * *

He snuck out before Abby woke up and drove to the airport again the next morning. There was simply no way he could be in DC without her, knowing she was in great danger. He'd brought his laptop, intent on using it to buy a plane ticket to Tel-Aviv and to send a few e-mails to friends and colleagues so they wouldn't have to wonder where he'd gone. As soon as his computer connected to the WiFi though a message popped up on Skype. It was from Ziva – or better, someone sent it from her account.

"Tony,

I do not have access to the internet at the moment, a friend is sending this to you. I am safe and will return to the US shortly. Do not do anything stupid. ;)

xoxo Z."

He couldn't stop staring at the winky-face. It almost destroyed him looking at those two characters. He was sitting there with worry drawing wrinkles on his face, about to take off on a plane to Israel because he felt like a zombie without her and she had the nerve to send him a winky-smiley face?

When he rediscovered his composure he spent about ten minutes simply enjoying in the fact that she'd sent two kisses. She never sent him kisses. But then again, things had changed, hadn't they.

His flight forgotten he shut off his laptop again and took a look at the people around him, imagining Ziva amongst them, waiting for him to pick her up. Ha actually turned his head to search the crowd around him for her face. She wasn't there of course, but this message had given him new hope.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ziva travelled the final distance to the house she was looking to visit in a Jeep. The car was old and she wasn't used to driving a stick shift anymore but she made it. She parked the car about a hundred feet away from the house and circled it from a distance, trying to make out if there was anyone inside. When she was satisfied she was alone she finally walked up to the house and entered it through the open front door. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had arrived at the house she'd been born in.


	7. 7 Reunion

Right on schedule this week, guys. :) I hope you like this chapter. The flashback is coming to an end now, don't worry though. There are at least three more chapters of this story. And I hope they'll be more fluffy and more bright than the rest of the story. With all this Tiva related frustration I just can't seem to write fluff... Chapter 8 is really, really good though! And light!

* * *

The call from the hospital came at 11pm. Tony had gone back to living at his apartment but in that moment he wished he hadn't. He needed someone to keep him grounded in those minutes. He hastily grabbed his car keys and wallet with his drivers license, not even bothering to tell fishy-Kate where he was going and sped out the door.

The hospital was quiet. The only thing he could hear for the first minute was his own heart pounding in his chest. When he reached the reception desk clutching his chest and panting the nurse behind the desk actually thought he was there because he was having a heart attack. He managed to get the room number from her after a couple of minutes though and went to find Ziva.

When he found the room a doctor was just leaving. He stopped for a moment. "Are you Mr. DiNozzo?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?" Tony frowned, still a little out of breath.

"She's been asking for you. Go on in." The young man said, holding the door for Tony.

The minute he saw Ziva laying on the bed, the dam broke and tears started pooling in his eyes.

Ziva had already been waiting for him because she heard his voice in the hallway. She waved at him to come closer and he did, sitting down on the uncomfortable bed to give her a half-hug, burying his face in her hair and holding on tightly.

She reached up to hug him back and keep him from pulling away.

"It's ok, Tony, I'm ok." She murmured into his chest.

She could feel his internal struggle, his labored breathing. Despite the fact that she hated what she had done to him she was glad that they were together now. She knew now that she needed him like she needed air to breathe. Running her hands through his hair she felt a subtle change in his posture. He'd managed to compose himself before falling apart completely. There was something holding him back from trusting her completely. And she understood. She let him go and get up again.

Tony stood and straightened is jacket. He could see Ziva's hand twitch and he took it into his. "Ziva…" he said, trailing off.

Ziva loved the sound of her name from his lips and pulled his hand closer to her. He pulled away.

Shocked, Ziva tried to sit up a little more, wincing when she moved her bruised skin and settled back down. When she caught Tony's eye she found him scrutinizing her.

"I'm fine, Tony." She shrugged, but immediately regretted her words.

He eyed her quizzically. "Fine?" His tone held an ugly undertone of accusation and disbelief. "What did you do?" He wondered out loud.

"It is over now. It doesn't matter anymore." She said dismissively and before she could add anything else, Tony all but exploded.

"You know I thought we were moving forward with this 'new us' crap and all but the first thing you do," the anger practically radiated off of him "Is lie to me and run of to Israel on some mission that you wouldn't even tell me about." He vented.

"Tony," She started, trying to calm him down a bit.

"No! Ziva you almost got killed today."

"I was in a car accident, Tony." She said quietly. "That can happen to anyone, at any time."

"My point is that you keep running off without me and putting your life on the line!" He said.

"I don't care if this thing you seem to hold over your own life is the end of world hunger, Ziva, I won't lose you!" He said - still agitated - but then something broke inside him. "I can't." He muted brokenly as he slumped down on the chair next to the bed.

Ziva looked away, anywhere but Tony, anywhere but him. It destroyed her, knowing she was the reason all of this happened. She was the center of all this pain. She closed her eyes to keep the tears in.

A few minutes went by until she could compose herself and face him again. The tears were still visible in her eyes.

"I never meant for this to hurt you." She said, so quietly that he could barely hear.

"Hurt me?" He said, defeated and tired. "You're the one with at least two fractured ribs and bruises all over her body." He assessed quickly.

Ziva hesitated. "Tony, I need you to listen to me."

He looked up and met her eyes for the first time in 15 minutes.

"I met someone at-", she hesitated just enough for him to notice, "at the funeral."

Tony's eyes bugged out. She did _what now_? But suddenly it made sense that she didn't kiss him earlier, that she kept pushing him away when it got too intense. His mind was racing with paranoia and he could barely contain the agony this caused him and he looked away again.

Ziva couldn't stop now, she had to finish this and explain herself to him.

In a quiet voice she continued, "I have known Deena Bashan all my life. I trusted her. So I listened to what she was saying to me. I should not have." She shook her head and fought the tears away. "I know I cannot trust my old friends anymore now. You are," she said softly "the only one who has ever saved me." She paused "The only one who has loved my unconditionally."

A few tears escaped just as Tony looked at her again. His heart broke again at seeing her cry. Despite his internal struggle and his anger at being kept out of the loop he could not stay away in this moment. He got up and stepped closer to her.

Ziva felt his hand on her face, wiping away the few hears that had escaped.

"Still do, Zi." He said, his voice full of emotions. "I always will."


	8. 8 Discoveries

A/N: So... I was really disappointed when I got three reviews for the last chapter. If you want to make me happy, a review would be great. I know you're probably very busy(or just lazy, like me :D) but it would help me a lot! I put a lot of thought into this story and I'd love some feedback, good or bad! Also if you find any grammatical or spelling errors: Please let me know!

Just so everyone is on the same page… or chapter I guess, were now "back" in chapter two. The flashback is officially over! I hope I'm not confusing anyone with my timeline… It is a little fuzzy because I didn't ever plan for this to have 8 chapters!

* * *

Tony went home that night, although only under protest.

_He looked at his hands. "I just know that I don't want to wake up tomorrow and find you gone again."_

"I really don't need a more comfortable place to sleep! The chair is just fine." He insisted for the fifth time.

"Tony, I need something to wear other than these scrubs. You just need to swing by my place, throw some things in a duffel and get back here." Ziva tried to convince him. "I also need my toiletries. I don't have anything at the moment. I even left my phone with you when..." She paused and cringed a little at the almost-mention of her disappearing act.

Tony let out a small groan. "Ok, one condition!" He finally said. He reached for her hand. "Pinky swear that you will not leave this bed – and that you won't move until I come back through that door." He joked in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit and make his insecurities fade.

He leaned down to kiss her forehead and caress her cheek. "I'll be back before you know it!"

His insides felt like they'd been scrambled when he left her. He felt so light from the rush that getting her back in one piece had been and at the same time so anxious to get back to her. He was on high alert all the time that he was not with her like there was going to be some kind of attack on her any second and he'd have to get back and save her.

He drove to her place first. Stepping into the unfamiliar apartment made him feel very uneasy. He left the key Ziva had told him about on the small hanger beside the door. As he made a few more steps inside he heard something squeak. His hand went to his sidearm as he turned to the door on his right. He stood still for a few moments but couldn't make out any other sounds coming from the room.

Moving as stealthy as he could, he opened the door and startled when a curtain made of hundreds of small wooden beads loudly rustled when the door opened. That much for stealthy. He glanced inside only to find an almost bare room. There was newspaper on the floor, a couple of branches that looked surprisingly real and littered on the floor. The big window on the far side of the room was cracked open. One of the toys had to have moved in the wind, he thought.

Using his detective skills, Tony came to the conclusion that there had to be a bird in that room. As soon as he stepped further inside his theory proved right. Tony had stepped into bird poo on the newspaper covered floor.

Ziva David, his fiercely independent warrior princess kept a bird for a pet!

He laughed aloud and then wondered why he hadn't known about this. Probably because he'd just laughed at the mere thought of it.

When he couldn't spot any other living creature except himself in a tiny mirror that was hanging on the wall he left the room in search for Ziva's bedroom. One closet door later he found it.

He had to say, this kind of touch on her personal space, the small flower pots with some exotic miniature trees and the beautiful rug handing from the wall to match her duvet was something his place lacked. He couldn't make out any evidence that would give away her person, her experience on the job and on past jobs in this room. It was peaceful. He smiled gratefully, thinking that she probably found her peace when she came home to this and curled up in the king sized bed with a book.

Opening a drawer in the big, antique looking chest he had to debate how he was going to handle this. He had been sent to get her clothes, which included underwear. But there was still a chance that she'd chop off both of his hands if she thought he'd snooped around in her underwear drawer.

He settled on just grabbing a couple of items from the drawer without looking. In the next drawer he opened he found, to his mild surprise, two mens' t-shirts and a gun underneath. He took out one of the folded shirts and examined it. Yep, that was one of his. He'd never noticed that it was missing. He brought it up to his face. It smelled like honey and vanilla. And Ziva. Inhaling deeply he tossed it onto the bed behind him and took out the second one. This was not one of his. He wondered what other mans shirt she had kept. He tossed it over his shoulder to join his and made a mental note to address it later. The gun, previously hidden under the shirts, was stashed away in the drawer beneath from which Tony took a pair of yoga-pants that looked much too small to be comfortable. Just to be safe, he opened another drawer and found a mess of pens, DVD-boxes, screws, a photo of a sunset, two small booklets with Hebrew letters on them and some change. He grinned like an idiot. He'd just discovered the messy side of Ziva!

He checked the rest of the apartment for any signs that the bird had escaped and lived in a different room now but couldn't find it, or any sign of it. In the kitchen he picked up a can with loose leaf tea and put it in the bag with the clothes. He'd have to swing by a store tomorrow to get tea bags too.

He swung by his place, put on some more comfy clothes and picked up her small bag from when he'd picked her up in Annapolis. A bit of food for his fish and he was out the door again.


	9. 9 Nighty, nighty

So sorry for the delay, I'm moving house atm and don't have internet at home yet.

* * *

Tony arrived back at the hospital not long after. He peaked through the door and noticed that he'd woken Ziva up from her nap.

"Sorry." He whispered into the mostly dark room.

Ziva nodded, stretched her arm and then sat up. "It is fine. I'm not comfortable enough to really sleep anyways."

Tony watched as she went through further attempts at waking up, shaking her head and running a hand through her hair.

"Are you just going to stand there?" She asked suddenly, bringing him back to the present.

He cleared his throat. "Oh, I have just the thing then!" He said enthusiastically.

Ziva just looked at him quizzically. Then he held up the bag he'd brought from her place.

"I picked up two shirts and some comfy pants for you. " He said.

She nodded again. "Ah, yes." She shifted awkwardly on the bed and brought her legs out from under the covers.

Her head hurt, her muscles hurt, and her hip was killing her. She reached out to grab the bag he was holding out for her.

"Should I help you?" She heard him ask.

"I will be fine." She said with determination in her voice. Slowly she made her way into the bathroom and flicked on the light, closing the door, not locking it. Just in case.

She took the few steps to the toilet as quickly as she could and sat down on the closed lid. She was feeling kind of dizzy from the medication. A full minute later, she knew because she'd been counting her breaths, she lifted her arms slowly over her head and got rid of the thin shirt the nurses had dressed her in. Gingerly, she stood, grabbed the handrails for support and got rid of the pants as well as the underwear. This felt much better already. The bag Tony had packed was a mess, but she got through it and picked out his shirt, feeling not the least bit guilty about it. He'd never demanded it back after all.

In her own clothes, feeling much more content, Ziva risked a glance at the mirror. Her face was bruised on one side but she thought it could have been worse. Her ear looked pretty bad, luckily her hair would cover any scars there when it was down.

On bare feet, she walked to the door hand poked her head out, initially to ask if he had some socks, to find Tony asleep on her bed. A tiny smile crossed her face. The bed was small, but not impossible to sleep on, even with two people. She'd take what she could get if it meant being that close to Tony now.

Still feeling very weak, she padded over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, poking Tony in the shoulder.

"Roll over, my love." She murmured quietly, and to her amusement, he complied, banging his hand on the small desk next to the bed and bringing it to his face. Ziva thought he behaved almost like a dog in that moment.

Tony, in a blissful state of sleep, the kind that he hadn't had since his partner had left, groaned a little. Was he dreaming right now? Because this sure felt like a dream. Except, no, dreams aren't supposed to be this painful. He pried one eye open and was back to reality in a flash. Ziva – hospital – and, oh my god, was she climbing onto the bed next to him? He waited a few seconds until he was sure that she was not in danger of falling and then turned over as gently as he could. He found himself unable to move after that because, damn, this bed was small and with her face right next to his.

"Hi." he said awkwardly, blinking away the sleep as well as he could.

"Hey, sleeping beauty." She replied easily. "Go back to sleep."

He felt her hand push down on his chest and obeyed. Soon after, they were both contentedly laying on their backs. Her hand found his and everything was alright in Tonys' world. That was until about five minutes later when he felt Ziva shift and realized how chilly it was in the room. Unfortunately, the blanket was all the way at the end of the bed and he'd have to sit up to reach for it.

He tried to not jostle Ziva as he stretched to pull the blanket up but heard her small sigh.

"Are you ok? I'm not hurting you, am I?" He asked with deep concern.

As he looked down on her face he could see her trying to hide her discomfort. Her lips were pursed in a tight line and her forehead held a frown that he didn't like one bit. She had to be in much more pain than he'd thought.

"Get back to sleep, DiNozzo." She said with as much force she could muster, trying to convince him that she was just annoyed.

Very slowly, he lay back down, turned a little and then reached up to cup her chin with one hand.

"Come on, Zi –" he whispered. His voice was so soft that she opened her eyes.

"- don't play the warrior princess." He finished as he grazed his thumb over her cheekbone.

Ziva never liked to admit to being in pain but this time she couldn't bring herself to let him worry like this.

"I am ok, Tony. Really," She paused, "but… maybe we could switch sides?"

"Sure, anything!" He said, already climbing down the other side of the bed to make space for her to wiggle over. He carefully stepped over the wires that were dangling down from the various machines set up around her bed.

When she'd finished moving to "his" side he lay down next to her again. Their eyes met. "That better?" He asked tiredly.

"Much better." She said and winked at him before closing her eyes.

This time it was him who found her hand under the covers. "'night." He mumbled.

Ziva smiled and squeezed his hand lightly. "Laila tov, ahuvi."

* * *

Please leave a review if you enjoyed this. I haven't written ch10 and could use a little bit of inspiration and motivation ;)


	10. 10 Moving On

Tony awoke a short time later to find the bed empty. The blanket and pillow as well as Ziva were gone. He sat up, confused to no end as to why she would take the blanket and the pillow. Then panic gripped him tightly. He looked at the closed door and couldn't see any nurses walking around in the hallway. His heart was racing now. What if she had left? What if she had been taken? He ran to the door, tried to open it but it wouldn't. He was just about to tackle it with all his strength when he was hit with a sudden streak of light. He opened his eyes and found Ziva's face right in front of him. His heart was still racing as his brain finally processed the fact that this was real and he'd just woken up from a nightmare.

"Bad dream," He said, out of breath. A couple of deep breaths later, he grabbed Ziva by the uninjured side of her head and pulled her in for their first real, passionate kiss since she'd come back.

She kissed him right back, having missed the feeling of his lips against her own just as much as he had. They took a while, Tony's hand found its way into Ziva's hair, Ziva's hand wandered up and down his back.  
If anyone had walked inside in that minute it would have been awkward, but thankfully, they were left alone.

When they broke apart it took Tony a few seconds to regain his ability to speak.

"Wow… that was… just wow." He stuttered.

Ziva directed a full, happy smile at him before looking around the room in search of a clock. Seeing that it was almost 7 am she carefully maneuvered to sit up with her legs dangling from the bed. She brought her hand up to rub her eyes and yawned, longing to stretch but knowing it wasn't a good idea.

"I think I'm going to take a shower. The doctor said he would release me today." She said.

Tony ignored her comment about going home but sensed her discomfort. He could practically see the knots in her neck and back.

"How about a nice back rub first?" He asked, reaching out to touch her arm, hold her back.

His proposal sounded heavenly, but Ziva hesitated. "Tony, these beds aren't exactly the most comfortable place to enjoy a back rub," She was longing for her own bed with the soft sheets and a hot bath in her tub. She shook her head, then smiled at him again, "but thank you."  
She stood slowly and went to find the bags he'd brought last night.  
"I just want to get out of here." She sighed, more to herself than to Tony.

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?" Tony questioned. Ziva sent him a frown while rummaging around in the smaller bag containing her toothbrush and other things.

"I mean, I didn't get to ask what you actually did to have bruises like that but I'm pretty sure it's safer for you to stay here. Especially if you have a concussion." He paused. Did she have a concussion? "Oh, god, should I have woken you up every two hours?" He asked worriedly, his eyes wide.

"I assure you, I am fine." She said, feeling much more confident about her walking abilities now that she'd been on her feet for a few minutes and walking into the bathroom. "Dr. Nemstein said it himself, it could have been much worse."

Tony could hear the water running now while Ziva put some toothpaste on the toothbrush.

_It could have been much worse._ But it wasn't. She was here, he was here. And the way she talked about the past few weeks it seemed that whatever had happened was over. She was safe. Emotions he'd been keeping in for way too long came bubbling to the surface, they were safe. Tears had started streaming down his face as he just kept holding on to their pillow until Ziva stepped back into the room.

One look at his face brought back the guilt she had been ignoring since she woke up in the bed he was now sitting on. Guilt because she left. Guilt because she kept him out of the loop. Guilt because she had known he would never cope if she didn't come back, and still she'd risked it.

She hurried over to sit next to him but he wouldn't have any of it. She felt him pull her into a tight hug, his strong arms never letting go once as he pulled her into his lap and kissed her with all he had – because he could. He could finally kiss her, touch her, hold her. And so he did.

For the next half hour the two of them simply sat, Ziva's hand soothingly sliding up and down his back as he let it out.

He regained his composure slowly, lowering Ziva onto the mattress next to him, still keeping her hand in his. "Does this mean it's over? You're finally here to stay?" He asked tentatively.

Ziva sighed. There was so much she needed to tell him. "I am not going back to Israel. Unless it is for a nice holiday on the beach."

_With you._ She wanted to add but didn't want to assume. They were walking on very shaky ground as it was. When she turned her head to face him and saw his pondering look she continued.

"Tony, I know I have things that I have to explain to you. And I will, in time. Just let us _be_ for a few days." She pleaded.

"But how do I know you're safe in the meantime? I mean, for god's sake, you made it back here and someone followed you and tried to kill you! Right here in the US! How can I let you walk down the street and not worry that someone's gonna come after you and take you away from… again" He quickly corrected himself.

Ziva gave his hand a squeeze. "No one is going to take me away from you." She kissed his head. "We need to talk about this, but can we just have this one day of returning back to normal?" She asked again.

Seeing a flash of hurt and deep disappointment flash through his eyes se quickly added "the new normal."

* * *

Yayy! I did it! I wrote 10000 words of Tiva! Celebratory cookies are on the coffee table over there, come sit, take a party hat if you'd like one!

And leave a review on your way out if you liked this chapter? :)


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